Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
