hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
where are my eyebrows?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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