how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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