I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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