woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
