we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
