Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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