u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
