I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
