My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
