I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's a Shit stain on my heart
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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