she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
