i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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