we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All the doctor said was why
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
