I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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