New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
