you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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