Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he just fucked me for my cheese.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
