I only kidnapped one of them. chill
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i came on her dog
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
