We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think my moral compass just broke
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