i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
