At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
