Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
