Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
