Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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