What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
