So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
