two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
