I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
