yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
