that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
