i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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