Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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