my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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