yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
