i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
