I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
