Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
