You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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