yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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