I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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