can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
