Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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