All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
MIDGETS
????
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
