wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
