The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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