no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
