I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
