are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
