If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He felt like a one man threesome
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
there is glitter all over my balls
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