What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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