Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
